I didn't want to interrupt her.One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.I love deadlines. These quotes from The Office prove that the series is one of the best shows to ever grace television. I had the radio on.”,“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”,“They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.”,“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”,“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”,“It's not because I want to make out with her.
Funny Quotes.
— Lillian Donovan.42. Stay up and fight.”,“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”,“Accept who you are. Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.How long was I in the army?
"You're like a snack-sized Denzel."
— Tess Coleman/Anna Coleman.36. — Bumper Allen.45. — Deadpool.32. "What... How... Oh, look at this! ".Quotes from your favorite movies are basically their own language, and the best ones are hilarious. Peppers." “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. Sons of the pharaohs! "If they got me, got me got me, I got to get them, get them, get them." "YOU'RE nervous? They tend to see the funny side of things, maintain a positive outlook on life and use humor to …
— Dr. Bey.37. Enjoy Life Quotes.
— Madea.35. Herewith, we've collected the most uproarious, sidesplittingly funny movie quotes to grace the silver screen. An 11 year-old is cutting my hair!" : Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes. Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy!" Anything but *you*! I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”,“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”,“Don't be so humble - you are not that great.”,“I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me. We don’t often feature funny quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but after compiling this list, I’ll make an exception. "If you wear a dress, and have an animal sidekick, you're a princess."
Unless you're a serial killer.”,“It's not true that I had nothing on.
",“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”,“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”,“Did you see that dress?” "I saw the dress.” "Did you like it?” He didn't answer. "The best thing about visiting the President is the food! The people are fucked.”,“Never go to bed mad.
"That's it, Dishonor! "You'll endanger the school.” I smiled and fell asleep.”,“If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”,“I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. — Mr. Pizzacoli.26. Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place.. And for more Hollywood hilarity, check out the 30 Funniest Movie Characters of All Time. Here’s a selection of funny, sweet, strange and wise things kids have said during this time of social distancing.
— Jay.43. 1. "It's about time somebody stood up to Auntie Eleanor.
Dedicated to your stories and ideas. — Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson.31. Seventeen picks products that we think you'll love the most. You and your friends probably quote your favorite movies all the time when you need a good laugh, or the perfect selfie caption. And when I do, I swear ta God, you will neva deliver pizzas in this town again!" "Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues." 1.
Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain.
Life can be funny sometimes.
Need I say more?”,“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. "I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom! Relax, we've got your back. NYPD, means I will Knock Your Punk*ss Down!" Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, right? Now, since it was all free, and I wasn’t hungry but thirsty, I must’ve drank me fifteen Dr.
Here are the funniest movie quotes ever.1.
Learn about us.Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog.Learn more about working with Thought Catalog.Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line. My reflexes are too fast.
Welcome back.
Drew?" "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?” When he spoke, I could barely hear him.
You look like a chrysanthemum.Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.I can resist everything except temptation.If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.Electricity is really just organized lightning.I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.I haven't spoken to my wife in years. What You Lack Is The Capacity."
"Are you insane? Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!" Totally have it!" — Drax.27. Explore 1000 Funny Quotes by authors including Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, and Abraham Lincoln at BrainyQuote. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners.
Here are 60 short and funny motivational quotes to help brighten your day: 60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes.
"Ain't nobody coming to see you, Otis!" — Missus Walters.38.
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